A Beautiful Stranger

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I walked down the cobblestone paved path and turned left into a tiny alleyway. Walked towards the river and noticed less and less people around. In fact, all of a sudden the familiar city buzz and noise faded away in the distance. Instead, all I could hear were footsteps behind me. Although I wore headphones, steady, confident footsteps were all I could hear. I could sense his presence behind me. And indeed I was right. I turned around and saw him standing still with his backpack proudly perched on his back. I walked forward few more meters and turned back. He did the same. I refused to take notice of his intention to approach me. Instead, holding my breath I took the phone out of my pocket. I stared at it, like it is an alien object. I saw my reflection on its screen. My face had a happy glow and had a soft smile in the corner of my lips. My hand was trembling. I failed to consider this segment as something significant and instead of making an attempt to call someone for help, I slid my camera open and started taking photos of the century old stone bridge! I could not move. I felt frozen in time. I felt like I don’t have strength and that my feet are buried underneath the ground.

– ‘Would you do me a favour and look after my backpack for few minutes?’ – His voice was mellow and his accent was ever so sweet.
I nodded and continued taking photos of the bridge and the monumental buildings behind.

He was gone, but all was left to linger around was his blue backpack leaning on my feet. It had lots of fabric country flags attached onto its surface. I started pointing to those flags I can recognise: Spain, Canada, India, France, Holland, Croatia, Italy, Russia, China, Sweden, Brazil….And there were lots more, including many other unfamiliar to my eye. The fabric flags looked vibrant, bringing great interest by simply making such a stunning contrast with its simple blue backdrop. The energy and the events unfolding out of the bag were stronger then the wind on this chilly wintery afternoon. In that instant, I forgot where I was, as I got transported to a different places all at once.

– ‘Thank you for being my angel guardian!’ – that same voice brought me back to reality! ‘You might want to drink this before you get stone cold out here’! – without a hint of hesitation I took the cup and started drinking the warmth out of it. While I was consuming the syrupy beverage I was experiencing melting sensation inside. I felt wonderful! I felt inspired! I felt powerful without weightiness and limitations. Only when I gathered my senses I smiled at this beautiful stranger standing in front of me, thanked him and walked away!

Walking back to the office I tried to think of this encounter as a note to act upon, but I could not get anything right. I tried desperately to put all details in place but none of the pieces matched. His features got hazy, his body distant, his radiance blurry, and his backpack dispersed leaving all the fabric flags scattered around, tailing off in a beautiful, bursting with colour trail behind. After all, a warm drink and inspired heart is all I had left to remind me of an encounter that it wasn’t a dream after all…M

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Blueprint of Love

I looked around and you were not there! My heart sunk! I suddenly thought of you while waiting for the lift in the lobby. When the lift arrived and the doors slid open, to my surprise we bumped into each other. I was going out and you were just coming in. You smiled at me. It looked like you were able to read my thoughts! I got so embarrassed and looked down. I must have blushed and you had seen me blushing! In that instant, I got pushed inside by people from behind me. I was so relieved when the lift doors closed behind me. I did not say anything, but neither did you. However, later that day, light-heartedly you asked me out! Scared, I declined your offer!

I sat in the dark and reflected upon our little random rendezvous that I never gave much meaning to in the past. Our little chats here and there that were always amusing, comical and sometimes I can’t deny they were pretty hilarious. I now remember how much fun we had dancing until the morning light, laughing and observing drunk people around! I have learned so much about the city and yourself due to your cycling expeditions and that evening when we discussed families! I felt so comfortable in your presence, maybe even too protected! I won’t forget the story about your break up and how you felt about it. Remember? I wholeheartedly gave you some tips on how to stay strong! Admittedly, I could not have waited for our next random get-together.

However, after the lift incident, everything got slightly too emotional! Shortly after, you invited me out again! Frightened, I declined it again! You tried calling. Suspiciously, I never picked up. You tried getting in touch, I never became available! As a matter of fact, I moved out and never saw you again!

Although I feel terrible leaving without a good bye, I still think of you. In reality, I think of you and your smile ever so often. As time goes by, have realised how much I miss you and our discussions on anything and everything! I miss that feeling of contentment, comfort and tenderness radiating from you. I never meant to go! However, the truth is I had, leaving behind an undiscovered possibility of happiness and much sought friendship. To this date, I have sent millions of silent prayers to you asking for forgiveness. And as part of the Devine gift of gratitude I have made a fond memorial, whenever accessed, my heart fills up with love and kindness…M

Broken Pieces

When I was a little girl, every last month of the year, I was thought to sit quietly in my room and write a list of what I like to be given as a gift, that will make me a better person in the year ahead. It could have taken me days to do my list, as everything written was supposed to justify my parents spenditure. If I haven’t have made a good case for some gifts, they would have fallen off the list immediately.

For most of the gifts I needed to fight my case in order to get them. Although, some gifts I have received on an emotional basis, I have been given some simply because they were practical. However, the fact of the matter is that I was getting away with most of my wishes; winter holidays, youth camps, swimming lessons, driving lessons, cookery, pottery and massage courses, toys and later on, electronic gadgets and computers.

So, after leaving my parents home, things have changed. Rather then thinking and buying gifts that will improve my skills and talents, it was the case of buying gifts that will impress others, will surprise them and make others happy. So, what happened to the little girl inside me? Did she forget who she really is? Doesn’t she have any more wishes just for her? Has she lost the will to achieve, to progress and develop further?

Another end of the year is approaching. I am sitting quietly in my house, listening to the silence around me. Although holding a pen my thoughts are dwelling in the past, listing through the catalogue of disastrous events that have happened this year. And what should I say? Shall I be glad that this year is tailing off, leaving behind broken pieces that can never be reconstructed or should I say I am glad that the new year is approaching?

What was so mystical about 2011 that every event turned out wrongly? And all the events around me were worst then ever before. What sort of energy field we were living in?

Let’s just tap inside and try to awaken the little girl inside me. She was much more fun to be with, free spirit and maker of her own destiny. Let me see if she likes to come out and face the reality as it is, at this stage in my life. Let me see what she will say how I have progressed and where I have ended up. Will she be proud, will she be crying and be sad, or will she be happy to take charge all over again? Who knows…

Future is not ours to see, que sera, sera….M

Desert Wind

Desert Wind

“Gratitiude can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Unknown

After a period of denial and negativity, just when I thought that all my cards have crumbled under the forces of life, considering everything what I have done and created so far has become worthless, and when darkness surrounds my heart, four souls are being brought to me to lighten up my life.

It comes time when we have to face the truth that some actions are meant to be avoided simply because of health reasons. I have come to realise that I simply have to step back and let others take over. Let others put the show in light, and let them create the show without me.

But how to let my mind accept all these, when all my life I have been capable of thinking and acting, completing most of the achievements all on my own.

This said, I found myself astonished to discover that it had been so easy to accept an offer, it just took some good words to be spoken and a bit of persuading from a very dear friends of mine, which were enough to give in.

Brushes, rollers, paint buckets, old newspapers, willing hearts and skillful hands were needed to cover my past, with yet another fresh coat of paint. And another one after and a third one to finish. My stubborn past finally gave in, cracking its solidity and slowly softening its claws under the silky, smooth strokes of the soft brissles of the brushes and the continuous roll of the rollers, to eventually let the future take over. The yellowishy old walls were painted over with lighter, more vibrant, full of life and space, ‘Desert Wind’ colour. So that finnally the remains from my past were painted over and left behind to be consciously forgotten forever.

With thoughts of brightness, positivity and freedom I allowed myself to fly out, at least for a moment to experience breath of fresh air, freeing my soul of any threads from the past. While my angels were fighting with the winds from my past, I was left alone, in most peaceful and creative spirit to make warm, delicious dinner for all of us to share and enjoy.

On this journey of self-discovery it was innevitable to learn that it is impportant to let people be there for you. People who simply like to share their free time with attribution of responsibility to bring beauty to my life. People who dare to help and people who dare to share their love. I have been blessed with eternal light. Having four souls brightening my life, who have shared their loughs, jokes, sweat and hope and whose selfless service created something magical, something wonderful for my two hearts. Friends who can see the real values in life.

Forever most grateful….M

‘Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart’….Unknown