Blueprint of Love

I looked around and you were not there! My heart sunk! I suddenly thought of you while waiting for the lift in the lobby. When the lift arrived and the doors slid open, to my surprise we bumped into each other. I was going out and you were just coming in. You smiled at me. It looked like you were able to read my thoughts! I got so embarrassed and looked down. I must have blushed and you had seen me blushing! In that instant, I got pushed inside by people from behind me. I was so relieved when the lift doors closed behind me. I did not say anything, but neither did you. However, later that day, light-heartedly you asked me out! Scared, I declined your offer!

I sat in the dark and reflected upon our little random rendezvous that I never gave much meaning to in the past. Our little chats here and there that were always amusing, comical and sometimes I can’t deny they were pretty hilarious. I now remember how much fun we had dancing until the morning light, laughing and observing drunk people around! I have learned so much about the city and yourself due to your cycling expeditions and that evening when we discussed families! I felt so comfortable in your presence, maybe even too protected! I won’t forget the story about your break up and how you felt about it. Remember? I wholeheartedly gave you some tips on how to stay strong! Admittedly, I could not have waited for our next random get-together.

However, after the lift incident, everything got slightly too emotional! Shortly after, you invited me out again! Frightened, I declined it again! You tried calling. Suspiciously, I never picked up. You tried getting in touch, I never became available! As a matter of fact, I moved out and never saw you again!

Although I feel terrible leaving without a good bye, I still think of you. In reality, I think of you and your smile ever so often. As time goes by, have realised how much I miss you and our discussions on anything and everything! I miss that feeling of contentment, comfort and tenderness radiating from you. I never meant to go! However, the truth is I had, leaving behind an undiscovered possibility of happiness and much sought friendship. To this date, I have sent millions of silent prayers to you asking for forgiveness. And as part of the Devine gift of gratitude I have made a fond memorial, whenever accessed, my heart fills up with love and kindness…M

Planet M

Thinking whether to tell you the truth or something beautiful, I decided to stick to the truth all the way. I hope that it will make you proud and honoured and fill you with joy and smiles…

My recent life changing event, left me with two hearts, one small and blissfully unaware of the reality and other one confused and shocked. As time goes by it was inevitable to learn that everything happens for a reason and this is the reason that makes me stronger, makes me a better person in some way or another. Little time was required to recover, away from any obstacles, negativities and ugly forces. Little time was required to rewrite my goals, my objectives and my dreams. Although, my words are my reality, my dreams are keeping me alive!

And as it is in life, at time least expected, we come accross people who bring a smile on our face. People who do inspire and keep us moving. People who can enter our dreams and generously share their aspirations, love and kindness. Many of these people we meet will become friends for life, and will form part of our character. And yes you are right, I don’t even know you, I haven’t even met you, neither seen you, and yet I’ve felt tremendous kindness and positivity radiating from your end.

So, by coincidence or simple synchronicity (who knows), I named my baby boy Marko. My little warrior was very eager to arrive earlier, to meet me, to show me his gratitude and true value in life. He came out very quickly, causing as little pain as possible, and as little damage as possible…

And trully, he gets all my affection, he is my little precious soul, my dragon, my little tigarce and my creator. I wish I could share my joy and be part of a family but my reality is very much a lonely journey, designed for endless strive to achieve and be entirely responsible for another being.

Truthfully, don’t even know if I ever be able to meet you, neither that these words will be read by you and yet I felt obliged to write them down.

Anyhow, maybe nothing is clear for the future, but the fact that I’ve equipped myself for the worst that life can throw at me, gives me great strength and confidence to walk forward. And as promised…There is no option of giving up at any point in my life.

With great hope for love and light on this journey,

M&M

Live boldly, follow your dreams, take risks, look after your friends and smile when the mountain is steepest…Bear Grylls