Bitter Sweet Dreams

We all got sooo excited! A foreign cake shop has been opened in our neighbourhood. Wohooo! Cupcakes, brownies, caramel slices, muffins, pop cakes, famous apple pie, all that on our door step.

Phones are ringing, messages are flowing and emails are being sent, so that finally we all met at the city square and walked over the bridge to the old bazaar..

While walking, sweet words were coming out of our mouths. I was able to hear the boys in front sharing a recipe and the girls around me chatting about experiences gathered on the travels enriched by a delicious puddings and desserts. Everyone around me was eager to get to the place and the walking pace increased into a running. It did not take long to locate this cake shop as it is right next door to a well known to us, a vinary.

We sat on the decked veranda overlooking the old bazaar. Small wooden benches and tables neatly positioned on the veranda, were leaving very much a feel of a comfortable and cozy place to be. Surprisingly there was no music to link the place. A smiley chap approached our group, welcoming us broadly to the newly opened cake shop. Surprisingly there was not a menu. Instead one by one were asked to go inside and choose from the selection of cakes on offer. This place was hiding more surprises for us. There were only five types of small cakes to choose from. By the time I got the turn to choose, there were no cakes left on the plates in the fridge. Surprisingly I could see the emptiness, I could see the void between a cake and no cake. Is this a reality, is this a childish game or is it just a life lesson teaching simple disappointment? A cake shop with no cakes?

A cake shop with no cakes to buy, with no cakes to share, with no cakes to see at all? Isnt this the same as going to a tea house, but no tea available to drink? Or to a wine tasting evening but no wines to sample?

Was I having a great expectation about being able to taste something different in my home land or was it just a hope to see the world shrinking on my dessert plate? Whichever way, that gave the impression that disappointment was greatly bigger than any other feeling at this moment. It came as a wave and affected everyone within the group. Those who had a slice kindly offered to share with the rest. We got to taste them and that as far as it went. For those visiting after us, a cake shop with no cakes was more real then ever before…M

Desert Wind

Desert Wind

“Gratitiude can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Unknown

After a period of denial and negativity, just when I thought that all my cards have crumbled under the forces of life, considering everything what I have done and created so far has become worthless, and when darkness surrounds my heart, four souls are being brought to me to lighten up my life.

It comes time when we have to face the truth that some actions are meant to be avoided simply because of health reasons. I have come to realise that I simply have to step back and let others take over. Let others put the show in light, and let them create the show without me.

But how to let my mind accept all these, when all my life I have been capable of thinking and acting, completing most of the achievements all on my own.

This said, I found myself astonished to discover that it had been so easy to accept an offer, it just took some good words to be spoken and a bit of persuading from a very dear friends of mine, which were enough to give in.

Brushes, rollers, paint buckets, old newspapers, willing hearts and skillful hands were needed to cover my past, with yet another fresh coat of paint. And another one after and a third one to finish. My stubborn past finally gave in, cracking its solidity and slowly softening its claws under the silky, smooth strokes of the soft brissles of the brushes and the continuous roll of the rollers, to eventually let the future take over. The yellowishy old walls were painted over with lighter, more vibrant, full of life and space, ‘Desert Wind’ colour. So that finnally the remains from my past were painted over and left behind to be consciously forgotten forever.

With thoughts of brightness, positivity and freedom I allowed myself to fly out, at least for a moment to experience breath of fresh air, freeing my soul of any threads from the past. While my angels were fighting with the winds from my past, I was left alone, in most peaceful and creative spirit to make warm, delicious dinner for all of us to share and enjoy.

On this journey of self-discovery it was innevitable to learn that it is impportant to let people be there for you. People who simply like to share their free time with attribution of responsibility to bring beauty to my life. People who dare to help and people who dare to share their love. I have been blessed with eternal light. Having four souls brightening my life, who have shared their loughs, jokes, sweat and hope and whose selfless service created something magical, something wonderful for my two hearts. Friends who can see the real values in life.

Forever most grateful….M

‘Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart’….Unknown